maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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