Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
