He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
