I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
