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• (323): View more from California

  question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line

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• (281): View more from Texas

  He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid

  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  Did you send adult things?

  (281): View more from Texas

  Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year

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• (585): View more from New York

  WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET

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• (818): View more from California

  Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?

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• 

  Is This New Dating App Elitist…Or Genius?

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (917): View more from New York City

  still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.

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• (407): View more from Florida

  I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much

  (352): View more from Florida

  Like they're going to fly away?

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• (905): View more from Ontario

  Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.

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• (202): View more from Washington, DC

  I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.

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• (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.

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• 

  Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (817): View more from Texas

  I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'

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• (615): View more from Tennessee

  No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.

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• (978): View more from Massachusetts

  Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad

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• (941): View more from Florida

  I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.

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• (941): View more from Florida

  You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume

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• (801): View more from Utah

  The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.

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