Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (433): View more from

  There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (433): There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables http://tfl.nu/c33j
  Replies (63) Good night (1480) Bad night (4082)
• Favorite

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (908): i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie. http://tfl.nu/9olo
  Replies (16) Good night (4530) Bad night (814)
• Favorite

  (432): View more from Texas

  From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (432): From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention http://tfl.nu/4fnt
  Replies (26) Good night (6282) Bad night (754)
• Favorite

  (217): View more from Illinois

  he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (217): he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike. http://tfl.nu/fre7
  Replies (47) Good night (8948) Bad night (1067)
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (617): I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation. http://tfl.nu/k6x3
  Replies (35) Good night (6227) Bad night (1060)
• Favorite

  (801): View more from Utah

  Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (801): Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car? http://tfl.nu/7rvc
  Replies (4) Good night (2482) Bad night (1104)
• Favorite

  (334): View more from Alabama

  How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (334): How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE. http://tfl.nu/y183
  Replies (11) Good night (4044) Bad night (917)
• Favorite

  (312): View more from Illinois

  I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (312): I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy. http://tfl.nu/9mbp
  Replies (5) Good night (737) Bad night (2320)
• Favorite

  (443): View more from Maryland

  And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (443): And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces http://tfl.nu/q5gv
  Replies (6) Good night (713) Bad night (1834)
• Favorite

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (732): apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums http://tfl.nu/96xk
  Replies (12) Good night (1114) Bad night (1955)
• Favorite

  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (724): I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week http://tfl.nu/5fel
  Replies (15) Good night (2080) Bad night (527)
• Favorite

  (843): View more from South Carolina

  It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (843): It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying. http://tfl.nu/4qy7
  Replies (3) Good night (1036) Bad night (509)
• Favorite

  (812): View more from Indiana

  I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (812): I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed. http://tfl.nu/eaqv
  Replies (1) Good night (594) Bad night (1426)
• Favorite

  (219): View more from Indiana

  The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (219): The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon. http://tfl.nu/hfsi
  Replies (1) Good night (1098) Bad night (436)
• Favorite

  (714): View more from California

  I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (714): I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time http://tfl.nu/bvah
  Replies (8) Good night (971) Bad night (411)

Randomize