if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Randomize
