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• (415): View more from California

  WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!

  (650): View more from California

  LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!

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• (310): View more from California

  Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire

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• (646): View more from New York

  ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!

  (812): View more from Indiana

  ?

  (646): View more from New York

  Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?

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• (704): View more from North Carolina

  We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  If you're joking I'm going to be sad

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• 

  You Wouldn’t Guess That These 25 Celebrities Are Complete A**holes

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (631): View more from New York

  So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone

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• (443): View more from Maryland

  Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.

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• (269): View more from Michigan

  I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.

  (616): View more from Michigan

  Who said I want to share with you?

  (269): View more from Michigan

  You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.

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• (405): View more from Oklahoma

  This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??

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• (609): View more from New Jersey

  and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.

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• 

  27 Of The Most NSFW Life Hacks

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (785): View more from Kansas

  Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."

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• (703): View more from Virginia

  A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?

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• (812): View more from Indiana

  Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?

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• (919): View more from North Carolina

  You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"

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• (586): View more from Michigan

  Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.

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• (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner

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