so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Randomize