sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
