Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
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