After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
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