so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Randomize
