this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize
