i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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