took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Randomize
