he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Randomize
