Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Randomize
