Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Randomize
