I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Randomize
