he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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