just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
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