i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
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