VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
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