Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Just cropdusted the office
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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