erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Randomize
