Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.