scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
i wish my penis had a tongue
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
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Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
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Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again