i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful