Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested