That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him