The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
