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• (312): View more from Illinois

  i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab

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• (636): View more from Missouri

  Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.

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• (415): View more from California

  is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?

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• (651): View more from Minnesota

  I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country

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  Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags

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• (330): View more from Ohio

  Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.

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• (970): View more from Colorado

  she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener

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• (763): View more from Minnesota

  Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave

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• (217): View more from Illinois

  she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...

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• (226): View more from Ontario

  I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.

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  21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers

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• (302): View more from Delaware

  I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids

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• (708): View more from Illinois

  Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?

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• (613): View more from Ontario

  Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?

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• (908): View more from New Jersey

  Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.

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• (303): View more from Colorado

  By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.

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• (763): View more from Minnesota

  Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful

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