I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
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