i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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