we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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