I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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