i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
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Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
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I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
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