I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize