I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
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