my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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