trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
The feeling are messing with the penis
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Randomize
