I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
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