i just had sex bonerless
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
