I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
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In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
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I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
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