you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
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