you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Randomize