i may or may not be watching the land before time
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
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