No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize
