For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
