sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
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