So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
