Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
