You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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