what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
Best friends brother. Beat that.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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