Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
