If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
