If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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