i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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