I am puke
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
