He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
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