i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
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I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
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At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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