Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
You pole danced in your parka.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Randomize
