MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
