Your mouth is God's brothel.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
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