I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
