im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
