thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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