I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
