Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
My ATM looks so different sober.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Randomize
