even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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