Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
