bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
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